Awhile back, it was brought to my attention that a Candy Land movie is being made.  Now, I was already aware of the Battleship movie currently in the works (which I am not at all happy about), but this was still pretty shocking news for me.  I mean, what could possibly be done to make Candy Land into a movie?  It’s a board game.  About candy.  Enough said.  Still, after giving the idea some time to sink in, I calmed down.  After all, I thought, it’ll just be a harmless little movie aimed at small children.  Sure, it’ll probably suck, but who cares?  It’s not like they expect us to take it seriously or anything, right? 

Wrong. 

A few days ago, EW released a statement from Candy Land screenwriters Jonathan Aibel and Glenn Berger which read:

“We envision it as Lord of the Rings, but set in a world of candy.”

Lord of the Rings.  With candy.  Damn these people.  Damn them all to hell.

Anyway, I couldn’t really visualize what Lord of the Rings in a world of candy would look like, so I decided use my incredible Photoshop skills to create some pictures to help me out.  The results are not at all encouraging.









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