CRJ considering how she's so good at making pop songs
The title's in pink so you know it's the deluxe version.
Remember that annoyingly catchy 2011 song "Call Me Maybe" with the music video featuring that awkward Canadian girl?  She's back!!  And just in case you thought she was a talentless one-hit wonder, she brought her guns out for Emotion (stylized EMOTION [stylized E•MO•TION]).

seriously what the fuck
The song also inspired a number of disturbing memes.
It's kind of insane actually.  So Kiss, the album containing "Call Me Maybe" was the definition of a rush job.  Once "Call" (look at me shorting titles like I'm the Washington Post) blew up, Carly recorded that entire album in 2 months to capitalize on the success of the lead single.  Which is impressive considering the Japanese version of that album had six bonus tracks on it (what is up with the Japanese version of every album, anyway?!). 

Afterwards, Carly decided to take a break to be Cinderella. No, I'm not kidding, she literally appeared in the Broadway version of Cinderella for three months.  

also she acts like a 16 yr old all the time
To be fair, she's kind of a perfect fit for the role (read: very white).
And then she decided to take two years to meticulously craft a flawless pop album.  The process of which, as she casually brought up in an interview, involved writing 250 songs. Not even Beyoncé can claim to be that obsessive (she barely recorded 80 for Beyoncé).

So, did all that effort pay off?  Let's look track by track and review all 15 of the songs on the deluxe version.  But also, yes, it did. 

ha, you thot! she's watching u masturbate
I legitimately have nothing funny to say about this, I just really like this cover.
1. Run Away With Me - 10/10
Now THIS is how you start an album. Four minutes into Emotion, and you've already listened to the best pop song of 2015. If anything, the placement hurts the album because nothing can live up to it. There's a sense of nostalgia, of epicness, of pure ecstasy that bleeds from the synths, saxes, and vocals of this track. This is the perfect maturation of Carly - still blissfully optimistic, but with a more complex understanding of just how special that is. Get ready for a treat, because songs like this barely come around once a year, let alone once an album.

2. Emotion - 8.5/10
A track so sugary sweet it takes a listen or two to realize it's lyrics are actually quite spiteful. Still, Carly pulls it off really well. The lyrics aren't perfect, but the chorus is catchy, and the song is impeccably crafted.

Tom Hanks, Carly Rae Jespen, and friend
This was probably very awkward to film.
3. I Really Like You - 9.5/10
As a lead single, you can't really hope for a better one than I Really Like You. It takes less than one listen to get utterly hooked on the song, but even after a dozen plus plays, you're still invested. This isn't as simple or as potentially annoying as Call Me Maybe, but it's just as catchy. The lyrics are some of Carly's most relatable. There's so many songs about first meeting your soulmate, or being hopelessly in love forever with someone, but far fewer about the lengthy amount of time in between lust and love. It's catchy, brilliant, stuff. Why not a 10? "Who gave you eyes like that?/Said you could keep them?" Yeah...

4. Gimme Love - 8/10
After the triple punch of the track openers, it was hard not to feel like Gimme Love was a dramatic drop in quality. It's a very simple song. Hook, lyrics, sound, they're all serviceable but don't scream perfection like the three before it. However, when I finally listened to this carefully with headphones, the song's bubbling, rhythms and almost robotic sound really sold me on this.

a failed attempt to whip one's hair back and forth
She looks like a 16 year old gay boy here, and I unironically love it.

5. All That - 9/10
All That feels a little out of place where it is on the album, feeling like it was ripped right out of an 80s album. The ballad is slow, with simple lyrics, and barely any structural complexity. It's mostly just Carly singing the same one line chorus. But it WORKS. There's something so genuine and touching about a ballad where the person isn't looking for love, but friendship. Carly is at her best when she's impossibly genuine in the midst of our cynical world,  and All That is a perfect example.

6. Boy Problems - 6/10
Another piece of evidence that Sia is spreading herself too thin with her songwriting, Boy Problems is probably the most disposable of all the songs on Emotion. With supposedly 238 other songs available for this album, I'm really not sure why this song was chosen for the standard version of the album. It's childish in a bad way, with the synths verging on annoying, and while the lyrical concept IS fresh, the execution is very basic. Destined to be skipped.

7. Making the Most of the Night - 9/10
The closest sibling of Run Away With Me, Making the Most of the Night can't live up to it's relative, but is still a hell of a pop song. The verses bounce with a fierce determination, building to a flashy chorus. It's neither as powerful or as catchy as Run Away, but it's also unfair to compare it to the album's opener.  Taken on its own, this is a catchy, powerful, impeccably crafted pop jam.

"ayye lmao im taking a shit onstage!"
I'm having fun listening to your album too, Carly :)
8.Your Type - 7/10
Probably the album's least effective ballad, Your Type is a little forced and bland. While the production still is great, Carly can't quite sell the angsty ex-lover persona this song needs. Still, there are moments this song really shines (the anguished "I'll make time for you," the layering synths). The song never reaches greatness though.

9. Let's Get Lost - 9/10
God, this chorus. There are earworms, and then there's Let's Get Lost. It's the kind of song that effortlessly repeats in your head for hours on end, and it's good enough that you won't even be angry. The start of this track sounds a little cheesy in a bad way, but by the time the saxophones play on the bridge, you'll be totally on board. Let's take the long way home and play this one a few more times.

oh.............. hi steve.
When that guy who thinks your friends waves to you and you have to act like you care.
10. LA Hallucinations - 8/10
This song is a dangerous, explicit track about losing love to the seedy world of LA fame. Wait, this is a Carly Rae Jepsen track? On one hand, this track contains some of the most autobiographical lyrics on the album. And more than you'd think, Carly actually sells the persona. On the other hand, she still only sells the persona about 50%. The track still has the light, happy vibe of nearly all the tracks on this album, making the dark lyrics also ring false. 

11. Warm Blood - 8/10
A true deep cut, Warm Blood feels like an experiment to show Carly isn't just a cookie cutter pop star. It more or less succeeds, but never verges on being spectacular. Lay back and enjoy.

if taylor swift circa 2006 was even more awkward
I tried googling "carly rae jepsen sad" and this was the most convincing picture I could find.
12. When I Needed You - 7/10
Carly really can't do sad. Unfortunately, she decided she wanted to end her album on a angsty, tragic song. Perhaps it was an attempt to show diversity, or maturity, but it doesn't really work. Like every other song on this album, it's expertly constructed and has some good hooks, but there's really no emotional impact. I don't feel sad or vindictive. I don't fall into Carly's persona at all, which leaves this as a nice sounding song without any substance.

I hate small talk . I wanna hear about your childhood and your favorite scents, what types of music you like & your religious views & where you want to live when you're older & drugs n alcohol & what keeps you up at night & how much certain things mean to you & your insecurities & your fears - I don't wanna know "whats up"
To separate the standard songs from the deluxe songs, here's a fun clip art image.

13. Black Heart - 7/10
Weird. I'm gonna guess this is a grower, but judging by the first few listens, I find it unnecessary.

14. I Didn't Just Come Here to Dance - 6/10
Why does Carly have a weird accent here? Why is the title of this song so long? Why did I pay for the deluxe version of this album?

15. Favorite Colour - 9/10
Oh right, because of this song. While this might be controversial, I think this song is the perfect end to EMOTION, and, along with Run Away With Me, the best example of Carly maturing as an artist. While her vocals sound as girlish as many of her other sounds, the song still has a very adult air about it. This isn't a song about a high school relationship, but perhaps one that makes you feel like a high schooler again. The verses are so soft and gentle that the rise of the chorus gains a brilliant sense of power and ecstasy. The lyrics are also some of Carly's best, being relatable yet original. It's childish and adult, sleepy and thrilling, cliché and original. A perfect end to a near perfectly crafted album.

Wasn't that fun?
Overall, EMOTION is a pretty amazing album.  It shows that pop music can be impeccably crafted without feeling manufactured.  There's something very down to earth about this album, even when every song is polished to a razor sharp glow (pretend that metaphor makes sense).

Still, the biggest problem is that for an album that literally screams "emotion," there's a distinct lack of that in the delivery of these songs.  Carly, to be honest, just isn't very good at emoting in her voice.  When you're listening to a song or two, that's not that big of a deal, but after an entire album, it does diminish how much you can actually connect with her as a persona.  So where does that leave us?  An insanely polished, catchy, and quality pop album that can feel distant at times.  While this isn't album of the year, I do want to reiterate that the album most likely has the song of the year on it. 

Seriously, I could've just spent this entire article singing the praises of "Run Away With Me" but instead, let me just leave you with the music video.

 Oh! And a number out of 10. Can't forget about that.

+ "Run Away With Me", "I Really Like You", "Let's Get Lost", "Favourite Colour"
- "Boy Problems", "Your Type", "I Didn't Just Come Here to Dance"