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| Operation Disney: Commence |
Remember when you were five years old and Disney movies made you think you were a princess? Well we don’t. Except for Berry, but then again she was dropped on her head as a child. Anyway, we remember how, as little kids, we would watch our favorite movies (which were often Disney) at least ten thousand times, annoying the crap out of our parents in the process. Ah, those were the good ol’ days… And recently, we decided that we wanted to relive those days. So, we assigned ourselves a top-secret mission: to re-watch all our old favorite animated Disney movies, and see if our views of them changed with age. First up on our list was Pocahontas.
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Berry: I actually thought this one got better with age.
Luke: Yes. I concur.
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| Ohhhh yeah.... |
Dee: I feel like I have a better appreciation for the music now.
B: I have a better appreciation for the bondage now. That was super-sexy.
B: I have a better appreciation for the bondage now. That was super-sexy.
D: I think Berry needs to stop liking movies just because of bondage.
B: I think you should shut up.
D: I think Luke should start talking now.
L: I think you guys need to stop starting sentences with “I think”.
B: Okay, but seriously, now that I’m older I actually understood the story. When I was little I never had any idea what was going on. I just liked the raccoon.
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| Oh, Meeko. You and your lovable hi-jinks. |
D: Yeah, I was just really obsessed with the animals. I didn’t really take into account the whole Native American and settlers thing, which is kind of the whole point of the movie.
L: I thought it was interesting to see the different layers of the movie. On one hand, kids can laugh along with the animal sidekicks’ shenanigans, while more mature audience members can see the strong moral themes presented.
B: Yeah, but they did kind of sugar-coat the story. No one got raped or scalped or anything. Kind of unrealistic, but I guess that’s necessary for a kids’ movie. Still, seems a little unfair to the Native Americans to not actually things like they happened.
L: But a rape scene would be pretty out of place. I know that people always complain about how Disney “sugar-coats” movies, but if they didn’t it couldn’t be a kids’ movie, which completely defeats the purpose of what Disney is.
B: I get that. I was just saying that I now understand that this movie isn't very realistic.
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| Image from Destructoid. So true, John. So true. |
D: ANYWAY, now that we’re done talking about serious crap, I just want to say that the tree with the face is really scary. I get what they’re trying to symbolize there, but I don’t remember it being that creepy, and now it really scares the hell out of me.
B: I’m just scared that Mel Gibson was in it. Seriously? I was happy to find out that Christian Bale was Thomas, though. He was totally my favorite character. And I do mean that in a sexual way. God I love gingers… It’s weird though, because I didn’t even remember Thomas existing. He must have never made an impression on me as a child.
D: Everything just becomes more sexual as you get older.
How Berry used to see Thomas vs. how she sees him now. My, how things change. Sexy-yet-kinda-creepy art by David Kawena.
B: Hence my love of the bondage scenes.
L: …stop talking about bondage.
B: What else is there to talk about?
L: Music, you sluts!
D: I think, for all ages, the music really adds to the whole effect of the movie. When you’re younger, the movie is just for entertainment’s sake, but now I can appreciate it more as a work of art.
L: The songs are pretty epic. Particularly “Savages” and the ending composition.
B: And don't forget about Colors of the Wind.
D: I even sang that for an audition!
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| Who could love this? |
B: I like how she doesn’t end up with John Smith. Smart girl. Seriously, who would want to end up with Mel Gibson? Also, what kind of name is “John Smith”? I know that was his actual name, but still. That’s about as generic as it gets.
L: His mother must have hated him.
D: He wasn’t a very good male lead. He was kind of lame.
B: Thomas was way better. Totally not lame.
L: Pocahontas and John had an actual balanced relationship, because they both helped each other in different ways. Unlike some Disney movies *coughLittleMermaidcough*.
B: In real life, didn’t Pocahontas go back to England with John Smith? I think she died on the way there or something.
L: Well, in the second movie she did go to England, and was forced into a marriage with a guy she didn’t like so that she could help her tribe or something.
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| Hell yeah. Artwork by Jeffrey Thomas. Check out his blog for more princesses gone bad-ass |
D: That makes her one of the stronger Disney princesses out there.
B: Sequels don’t count.
L: Unless they’re good.
B: But you haven’t even seen that one!
L: Your mom!
D: Yeah, Berry’s mother would like this movie.
So in conclusion, this movie retains its value even as you age. Look out for more of these Disney movie features in the future, and feel free to post your thoughts below.
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| This picture is really sweet until you start picturing Mel Gibson as John Smith. That kind of ruins it... |
