BEYONCE DROPS ALBUM OUT OF A WORMHOLE IN SPACE; SLAYS LITERALLY EVERY POP BITCH ALIVE

SHE IS NOT FUCKING WITH TRICK BITCHES ANYMORE

12/13/13: something was supposed to be important today. (another pop bitch? a ratchet sequel? a ugly guy with a weave?) but then the world changed when god of the universe BEYONCÉ GISELLE KNOWLES-CARTER came out of a wormhole in space and dropped BEYONCÉ to the Earth.

Early scientific reports says the Earth may never recover.

Not only is this A FOURTEEN SONG ALBUM, the bitch wasn't even content with killing every pop bitch in the game, she had to burn them alive, bring them back to life, then have their eyes melt aS THEY WATCH THE 17 MUSIC VIDEOS SHE ALSO DROPPED TODAY.

Exhibit 1: Beyonce cleaning up the dirty dishes.

If you thought 2013 was done with a nice little ribbon on it, check your bald ass head cuz yo weave just got snatched.

Still from one of the SEVENTEEN MUSIC VIDEOS ON THIS VISUAL ALBUM EXPERIENCE

Remember when Beyonce used to give one fuck? After a full year of pop bitches doing the absolute most to sell 12 copies, Beyonce literally tweets "surprise" and calls it a day for promo.

And people think she doesn't fuck Jay-Z in the ass with a strap on...

Each $5 she sold cost $100 to market. Thirst knows no limits.

Literally she named a song ***Flawless because two * weren't enough and hAS A FOURTH OF THE SONG BE A SPOKEN WORD FEMINIST SPEECH.

The last thing you see before Beyonce turns yo' bitch ass to stone with her black voodoo magic.

I truly thought Beyonce was done.

Oh

how

wrong

I

was.


Oh oh yeah, and the musics pretty good too.

BEYONCÉ SONG LIST
1. “Pretty Hurts”
2. “Haunted”
3. “Drunk in Love” (Featuring JAY Z)
4. “Blow/Cherry”
5. “No Angel”
6. “Yoncé/Partition”
7. “Jealous”
8. “Rocket”
9. “Mine” (Featuring Drake)
10. “XO”
11. “***Flawless” (Featuring Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie)
12. “Superpower” (Featuring Frank Ocean)
13. “Heaven”
14. “Blue” (Featuring Blue Ivy)

BEYONCÉ VIDEO LIST
1. “Pretty Hurts” – Directed by Melina Matsoukas
2. “Ghost” – Directed by Pierre Debusschere
3. “Haunted” – Directed by Jonas Akerlund
4. “Drunk in Love” – Directed by Hype Williams
5. “Blow” – Directed by Hype Williams
6. “No Angel” – Directed by @lilinternet
7. “Yoncé” – Directed by Ricky Saiz
8. “Partition” – Directed by Jake Nava
9. “Jealous” – Directed by Beyoncé, Francesco Carrozzini & Todd Tourso
10. “Rocket” – Directed by Beyoncé, Ed Burke & Bill Kirstein
11. “Mine” – Directed by Pierre Debusschere
12. “XO” – Directed by Terry Richardson
13. “***Flawless” – Directed by Jake Nava
14. “Superpower” – Directed by Jonas Akerlund
15. “Heaven” – Directed by Beyoncé & Todd Tourso
16. “Blue” – Directed by Beyoncé, Ed Burke & Bill Kirstein
**BONUS VIDEO – “Grown Woman” – Directed by Jake Nava