Now that Justin Bieber finally popped his cherry by going to Brazil and sleeping with a prostitute, he's now convinced he's the expert of all things sex, as "PYD" clearly shows. PYD stands for "put you down" btw, which made me think this was an anti-bullying song for a while.
*Sigh*. Can I just listen to the iTunes snippet and pretend to have listened to the whole song and trash it? No? Ugh fine, gimme a second.
|Browsing the YouTube comments while listening to this diarrhea.|
|Looking at hot guys to try and distract myself.|
|Fuck this song is five minutes I did not plan for this.|
|Thinking up an R Kelly pee joke during his verse.|
It's almost too easy to review this song. It makes Blurred Lines look like a feminist anthem. Like, here's a sample of the lyrics:
On a plane, a train, an automobile doesn't matterYes, referencing 80's comedy movies has been proven with 95% accuracy to induce wetness in females.
I'm a put you down (PYD PYD PYD)
All the way down (PYD PYD PYD)
|Definition of sexy.|
This will show you how much I love youYes young girls. Justin Bieber is teaching you an important lesson today: if you're a faithful and dedicated girlfriend, you might just be rewarded with really bad misogynistic sex! Your pussy could even bleed! :D
For my appreciation I'm a put you down (PYD PYD PYD PYD PYD PYD PYD)
|NOTE TO JUSTIN BIEBER: THIS IS SARCASM THEY ACTUALLY DON'T|
|I can't believe I'm actually defending myself over a song performed by the asparagus of the pop industry.|
Also, the R Kelly verse is so bad. Though it makes sense the asparagus of pop music teams up with an old man obsessed with pee.
|"'Cause I've been doing forensics On your body." - actual words sung by R Kelly in the song|
+ It's already fallen out of the iTunes Top 10 one day after release
- Every core element that makes up a song (lyrics, beat, vocals), Music Mondays still isn't over, I spent part of my life reviewing this